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How to control your temperment as a Leader

July 13, 2012 by 11 Comments

How to control your Temper as a Leader

The reason I am writing about this topic is because Its something I had to learn how to work on with only one person while I was in Corporate America. You know I went to work on a daily basis frustrated knowing that I would be in contact with just this one person. Knowing that I should not hold grudges even to people who stab you in the back is really hard. God says to turn the other cheek correct? Well it was truly hard for me to do that.

When I used to wake up on Monday mornings, I felt a relief because the individual in person would not be in the office. I could be myself around my teammates and really enjoy everyone and build and grow as a team. However, when Tuesday rolled around the tension rose and my blood began to boil just knowing I would have to encounter this person. How could I allow someone to get under my skin like that?

  • I put scriptures in my cube
  • I intentionally avoided them
  • I made sure that I would walk the other way
  • I tried to seem normal

However, it was adversity for me and really it could have just been me in my mind, allowing someone else to get me so angry. So I needed to learn how to overcome this because it is not healthy for me as a Christian Leader to feel this way about someone right? So I needed to learn how to channel my temper and make sure that it was at a level where it could be controlled. So here are a few things that I did.

  • Asked God to order my words / Steps - I would walk away from my cube to the outside and spend time with God for a few minutes. Talking praying and asking him to forgive me and the person I was holding so much anger for. This helped to calm me down allot and allowed me to not even think about the situation.
  • Talk to my wife about it – If you have a significant other and you are in this position, speak to them. Tell them how you feel and ask them what should your next steps be. My wife was so sweet and kind and she always knew the right things to do and say.
  • Go to the gym and workout – This was my favorite and it would really allow me to clear my mind and have some much-needed fun with the guys at lunch time.
  • Do my job to the best of my ability – I found that the individual tried to make me believe that I was incompetent in the job I was doing by belittling my work. However, I continue to do my job to the best of my ability and always strove for 1000% perfection.

Question: Have you ever been in a situation like this? What did you do to resolve it?

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Lincoln Parks
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About Lincoln R Parks

I am a Traditional and Non-Traditional Business owner. I made the transition from Corporate cubicle to Home office. I went to work harder on myself than I did on my Job, and went from Darkness to light. I spend my days Consulting, Teaching, informing, & Learning. God has given me a spirit of Humility and a mind for Business, so I use that ability to reach others.
Lincoln R. Parks

  • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

    I have :) , worked with them for seven years! Our relationship was not always at boiling point, more like eggshell existence cos it never took much to get to tip it over. I wish I could say that I did a good job of managing it. But i didn’t.

    What you say is true – taking a break from the issues and moment sometimes helped clear my head. And of-course just relying in God and exercising restraint.

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Ngina, I have to tell you this is the hardest thing to do. Its really hard to have restraint and hold back your emotions when your at a boiling point. I’m not sure how Jesus was able to do this, but since he is perfect he knows. Can’t even come close to what he went through.

      However, I know you handled it well and restrained. I didn’t but I learned from my mistakes and hopefully there is not a next time. Thanks for sharing this, we all go through things like this.

  • http://www.charleshutchinson.com/ Charles Hutchinson

    Hi,

    I can really relate to this post. I am going through a similar situation and feel God leading me to pursue other options. Pulling the trigger, though, has a lot to do with faith and obedience for me. Amazing how the right pressure can make things look different.

    Hutch

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Charles, this was one of the toughest times in my life and this was not too long ago. God had to force me into a different situation working for myself now full-time. That also is scary but at the same time make sure what I am doing is to his Glory. You are so right, pressure can truly make a difference.

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    Oh my goodness, yeah I’ve had issues like this at work. Venting to my spouse really helped me to go of some of the emotions. Working out also helped. But asking God to help me view them through His eyes and to love them with His heart is what really helped change me. It helped me to see them as God did. I still didn’t “like” them, but through Christ I let go of the emotions and allowed healing to occur. I was even able to be nice…most of the time ;)

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      TC, that’s the thing. We are pushed sometimes by people in different areas of life and we all fall down in this area from time to time. As I told you it was a struggle for me. But you are right God leads and we follow.

  • http://talesofwork.com/ kimanzi constable

    This is a hard one, even when we know better. I think you’ve given some great tips here though!

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Yes, this is tough Kimanzi. The thing is Its tough to do and we are human. Thanks for the comment.

  • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

    I have found being closely connected with God and relying on Him allows me to deal with difficult people. Great post and points.

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Hey Dan, its really the only way. I totally agree.

      • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

        So true.

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