April 18, 2014

5 ways on how to handle major Disappointment

You inevitable will be or have been disappointed for some reason or another when it came to a friendship, business transaction, or family dispute. Sometimes things did not quite go the way you had anticipated them to go and today I experienced that and I wanted to share with you exactly how I handled it. I could have been upset and lash out, but I want to Lead like Jesus so I asked what would he do. And here was the outcome..

My five ways to handle Disappointment;

  1. Don’t react off of the first emotion when the hurt is fresh.
  2. Don’t hold a grudge against the person.
  3. Forgive the person, place or thing.
  4. Pray for them in hopes that they see the error of their ways.
  5. Move on and forget it ever happened.
Now trust me, I did not say that any of these things were going to be easy and it depends on what type of disappointment it is. However, I was highly disappointed when this happened to me today. Not only in the individual but how their selfishness proved to me that they are all about self. No one person is bigger than the team and at some point you need to put others first in life because if you are always looking to push your own agenda instead of that of someone else, you will continue to miss the dream you so desire that calls for teamwork.
Question: Have you ever been highly disappointed by someone? What was your reaction and how did you handle it?
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About Lincoln R Parks

I am a Traditional and Non-Traditional Business owner. I made the transition from Corporate cubicle to Home office. I went to work harder on myself than I did on my Job, and went from Darkness to light. I spend my days Consulting, Teaching, informing, & Learning. God has given me a spirit of Humility and a mind for Business, so I use that ability to reach others.
Lincoln R. Parks

  • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

    Not reacting on emotions is so big. It requires being careful in what we say or at times not even saying anything at all. I think after a disappointment it is wise to take time to think and reflect on the emotions we area having. Then when we are in the right mindset talk with the person involved. Great points man.

    • http://www.michaelgholmes.com/ Mike Holmes

      Taking time to reflect…so true. Flying off the handle is NOT the way to go

      • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

        Absolutely Mike.

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Thanks Dan. Its really very hard to hold back immediately following a disappointment or letdown. I had to cool down and really pray about how I was feeling. You are absolutely right, always wait until you cool down. Have you experienced it before?

  • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

    So interesting reading this right now, Lincoln.

    Just today some people let me down..though there’s still room for them to make up for it. Regardless, I caught myself going down the angry frustrated route. Well, it wasn’t too long before I began to wonder how my silent rantings were helping or changing the situation. I am not at that place of perfect peace yet :) But i’ve picked up the rest of my day and am moving on.

    Great reminder!

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Glad I can help out Ngina.. I write on what happens in my life.. I guess its sort of a release. Your right, the silent rants don’t help at all really. You handled it the right way for sure.

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    Forgiveness can be hard. Sometimes we ‘think’ we have forgiven but our emotions can let us know if we truly have. Often I have to go back in prayer because I haven’t completely let go of the pain.
    I’ve found asking God to help me view others through HIS eyes helps me to love them when I don’t feel like it.

    Thanks for sharing your experience. We all deal with this topic.
    I know I have trouble at times of not reacting first and praying later. I have to remind myself to be slow to speak and quick to hear.

    • http://www.michaelgholmes.com/ Mike Holmes

      So TC here’s a question: can you forgive and just not trust the person? Or do you have to be friendly with them when you see them? I am curious on your thoughts

      • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

        That can be tricky Mike. The Bible says “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” 1 cor 13:7 ESV
        While we are to love others as Christ loves us, I don’t think God wants us to be fools (plenty verses in proverbs about fools).
        For me, I try to exemplify Christ which means being friendly however, I am also more careful about what I say and how much I trust them.
        Ultimately I ask God to direct me because each individual case is different.
        When Jesus was tempted in the desert He didn’t spend a great deal of time with satan. He quoted scripture then pushed satan aside, going about his business.
        I think that sometimes that is what we have to do. Know what scripture says and if someone is being used as an instrument of the enemy put them behind us (don’t let them drag us down and get caught up in hurtful things). But we also have to pray for them.
        I’m rambling, but this is a difficult question to answer because it involves so much and each case is different.I will say I don’t think “forced friendliness” is what God has in mind. There are some people we have difficulty being friendly to and in that case I don’t think we should dishonor God and the name of being a Christian by faking anything. Instead, we should seek God in prayer until our hearts are changed and perhaps we need to seek their forgiveness for the hostility we carry in our hearts.
        What are your thoughts?

        • http://www.michaelgholmes.com/ Mike Holmes

          I really don’t know to be honest. I think it is possible to forgive someone and still not be comfortable around them. It all goes back to trust and forgiveness: “Yeah Ill forgive you but it doesn’t mean I’ll trust you.” Too many variables to have a concrete answer

          • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

            yes, way too many variable to have a set concrete answer. Thankfully God is big enough to guide us through every possibility.
            I know there are people in my past I’ve forgiven but I don’t trust them and I don’t feel convicted about it. It took much prayer.
            Other times I’ve forgiven, not trusted but at the same time remained fairly good friends- I just learned boundaries. Each case is so different.

          • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

            I love this thread here. All we know is that God forgives..I find solace in that alone. Thank you for sharing this and raising these questions. I like it.

          • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

            It is good stuff! Great questions and reflections. God is speaking volumes to His people.

            Our nation is at a critical point. Love and Forgiveness must rule the day. As Abraham Lincoln said in his second inaugural address, “With malice toward none, with charity for all,”

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      TC hard is an understatement because forgiveness can be outright tough to do. I must admit that before I wrote this post and video, i was steaming and has already set up a plan to vent. However, I was held back by the grace of God. It was really him holding back my words and actions. We all face this i think, we just need to make sure we live it, as hard as it may be. Thank you TC.

      • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

        I completely understand. I heard a news story recently that has had me in an uproar. While I am always passionate about what I post, I refuse to post something when I am angry. I am praying about this- I feel it needs to be addressed but I’m not sure if I’m the one to do it. Perhaps it will make my Sept Newsletter and not my blog. I really don’t think I will handle comments on this topic well as it has already upset me so much. I don’t like using my blog to vent and that’s what I would be doing right now.

        Thanks so much for sharing this experience, it’s what I needed to hear to help me with this situation.

        • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

          Whatever the situation is TC pray about sharing it via your blog or other medium when time permits and you feel like you can speak on it. Hopefully you do at some point.

          • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

            As with most things, timing is everything. I have to learn that what is pressing to me isn’t always pressing to God. He knows and this is in His all knowing hands.
            God bless and thank you for your friendship.

  • Floyd Samons

    When the economy tanked several years ago it opened the floodgates of human emotions. People I’d never dreamed would melt like wax on a hot stove in tough times did exactly that… and lied, cheated, stole, and worse yet, justified their actions.

    I have to say as much as I don’t enjoy this process, God’s used it to give a bit more wisdom and forgiveness… I pray for the ones who aren’t yet strong in Him. Their lives are more miserable due to the trust in themselves and the lack of trust in God. I’m not saying I had no fear, it just drove me to Him in prayer and study… and there is no better place on this earth to be than in His hands…

    Timely post. None of are immune from disappointment. Your first rule is the great; self control over emotions first… We live by principles, not emotions… Good job.

    • http://www.michaelgholmes.com/ Mike Holmes

      I love that quote: ” I’m not saying I had no fear, it just drove me to Him in prayer and study… and there is no better place on this earth to be than in His hands…” I have to admit the recession did the same for me as well. Great thoughts Floyd!

      • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

        However, we are not letting us affect us now that we know better, and who is in charge. Great observation Mike

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Thanks Floyd…The principles are key to live by. There is so much of that going on today that we all get let down almost daily. I think by putting it in God’s hands and allowing him to make those judgments are the best thing to do. Isn’t it funny how God uses these circumstances to teach us lessons?

  • http://www.michaelgholmes.com/ Mike Holmes

    I’ve been disappointed by circumstances…or when I followed God on something and it DID NOT turn out the way it expected. That hurts the most…its not like you can sit God down and scream in Him Face. Not sure I’d want to either

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      In the Bible we have seen where some has asked questions of God. Asked him what’s going on. However, we know he has out best interest in heart. It almost never goes the way we want it to go.

  • http://talesofwork.com/ kimanzi constable

    I can’t even count how many times I’ve been disappointed! I haven’t always reacted right but I’m learning. The key for me is to just step back and take a breather, pray.

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Looks like taking a breather is what everyone is suggesting.. I think it is because its most effective. Wouldn’t you say Kimanzi?

  • http://www.beyondthesinnersprayer.wordpress.com/ Barb

    This is great, Lincoln! Loved the video and all the tips.

    • http://www.lincolnparks.com Lincoln Parks

      Thanks Barb, I truly appreciate you stopping by. So good to see you.

 
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